However angry I was with him, however much I wanted to humiliate Terry, I suddenly saw such humanity in his eyes, and in the way he tried to smile - such innocence in the way he wanted to understand me, and such possibility of pain, along with the implicit assumption that he wouldn't be harmed - that I pulled away. Hanif Kureishi
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I saw such humanity in his eyes, and in the way he tried to smile – such innocence in the way he wanted to understand me, and such possibility of pain, along with the implicit assumption that he wouldn't be harmed – that I pulled away. The feeling of such compassion as you pull back from someone is often counterintuitive. You will often think that this emotion would be more useful if you were to hug that person and express your love for them. However, as with any emotion, pulling away is a powerful and necessary response.

If you wanted to continue to hold onto this person and protect them from harm, you would have to put yourself at risk. The moment they were near you, you saw them as you would want to see them. When they were away from you, however, you saw them as they really are.

In that moment of clarity, compassion emerged instead of defensiveness or anger.

Source: The Buddha Of Suburbia

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